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Thomas

by Chris Ansuini

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1.
Monster 03:33
I'm not a monster Though I couldn't tell We're living in parallel But we're moving on I'm not an animal I wish it were true We're living in hell And I brought it on It's you who can It's you who cares To know That I'm not a monster I'm only a man I couldn't do harm, could I? Or is it easier than that? It's you who can It's you who cares To know It's you who can It's you who cares To know But I am a monster I've bitten your hand I swallowed up the friends you had And left you there I am a monster I am a monster I am a monster I am a monster I am a monster I am a monster I am a monster I am a monster
2.
These old gloves The fingers torn They can't quite keep me warm The land I love Has grown fed up It welcomes me no more The sleeping bag I wish I had It won't be found in the dark Here on Rampart The road where I drag my bones For a blanket or warm heart I spent the last family dollar To build a fire And I still can't start it I spent the last family dollar To build a fire These old gloves Soaked and worn They're not mine anymore I passed them off With a cough To a ghost of the 9th Ward It welcomes me no more I spent the last family dollar To build a fire And I still can't start it I spent the last family dollar To build a fire
3.
Astronauts 02:47
I know our legs are on the move And I know our minds are going too And in the restaurant We talk a lot I know the end is coming soon But I know a time is coming too When we will go for walks And talk a lot But we're okay for now 'Cause no-one starts out crazy We'll be fine for now We're alright for now 'Cause no-one starts out crazy We'll be fine for now I know a plague is after you And I know the sky is falling too And in the restaurant You sure love to talk I know your dreams are on the moon And I know you've got to get there soon But we're not astronauts We are not astronauts But we're okay for now 'Cause no-one starts out crazy We'll be fine for now We're alright for now 'Cause no-one starts out crazy We'll be fine for now
4.
Dauphine 04:38
Dauphine At the corner On Port Hold me Like the cat Holds birds Set your teeth And I won't tell a soul And I will never leave Though I'm sore Tightly Like it's tied To hold Clinging Grabbing for more The pain will ease That's when we'll be bored And I won't need the sleep Anymore Sophie Who finds The door She believes in war Painting scenes Of watercolor poor Spill out all our drinks Once more Charlie On the corner Checkpoint I think we've made it Yeah, we're poor Karma, please Like the crow deserves this hole As if we had a chance For more
5.
Lala 02:18
La la la la la La la la la la la la La la la la la La la la la la la la We should be going At least for a moment together To really feel, really feel, really feel living In this world There's not enough, not enough, not enough There's a hole that can never be filled But you've got a love That makes me dream up every way that we can make it stay La la la la la La la la la la la la La la la la la La la la la la la la
6.
From all of us, we wish you well Breathe in, breathe out We don't feel too hot ourselves Nose in, out mouth Lovely, such a pleasant mode Breathe in, breathe out Keep a healthy attitude Warmth in, poison out Son, we sense a sense of doubt Breathe in, breathe out Maybe you should find some help breathing Maybe you should find some help breathing I could never pass the time breathing Choking on your last advice weakens me Please, please, please don't fail me
7.
Trouble Now 02:34
Oh, I'm in trouble now Oh, I'm in trouble now My mind and my body are at war and I've been Losing it for a while I can See the trouble I'm in now Oh, I'm in trouble now Oh, I'm in trouble now Everyone has grown and they've been Leaving me for a while I can See the trouble I'm in now Oh, I'm in trouble now Oh, I'm in trouble now Calling out while everyone's at war and I've been Bleeding here for a while I can Feel the trouble I'm in now
8.
I've grown old enough And I've learned better But I can't grow roots in peace I can't be a tree So I'll try my best To grow an opinion But I can't trust ever this Faulty intuition So, we're on our way out Yeah, we're on our way out Yeah, we've got to get out 'Cause we can't fool ourselves We can't fool ourselves Did we fool ourselves Please don't involve me in this It's my mess And who it affects is what I most regret Yeah, I should have guessed That you would get the worst of it Shake, shake, I shake I recognize that I'm still weak A poor excuse for drawing tears Please understand that I'm still here
9.
Puzzles 02:17
Scattered shapes Arms and legs We're all puzzles Find our place Forced to play We're all puzzles We're all leaving in the morning with ourselves We're not looking where we're going We're all leaving in the morning with ourselves We're not looking where we're going
10.
Accept the pain or change your ways And after a couple of days Regardless of change, when you feel the same You will say I only have myself to blame But it's selfish to be sad It's careless to feel bad When you look at what you had It's useless to get so mad That you can't even think and you're eyes won't blink When you stare at the future that's happening rapidly Becoming your enemy Screaming reality is no longer interesting to me So maybe you'll leave it Or maybe you've left it Just pray what you find to replace it's not worse Than this place where you've landed Where you bite 'til you bleed Where you must bend your knees when you're in the back seat 'Cause you have this disease from your head to your feet that makes you walk And it makes you think But you never talk and you always forget to breathe And if you're looking for help You should scour the shelves 'Cause you're going to hell for annoying your friends to no end By repeating again the same questions Like how do you talk? Where does the buck stop? When will the bus stop, I wanna get off How do you clean out the kitchen sink? Is it okay to cling to these old memories? Should I wear this coat? Should I go for the throat? How long should I heat my heart in the microwave? Am I? Am I going insane? I only have myself to blame I only have myself to blame I only have myself to blame I only have myself to blame I only have myself to blame I only have myself to blame Accept the pain or change your ways And after a couple of days Regardless of change, when you feel the same You will say
11.
'Cause at times It's severe Some would even call it unbearable To be here But there's beer And somebody drawing near Stop Don't be scared We'll never learn from fear Though it's not Just in our heads Look at what else is real

credits

released October 29, 2020

Album Art by Joe Rosa

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Chris Ansuini Livermore, California

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